When I came home from a six month adventure in New York City, one of the first places I visited was Mr. Paperback, my old book store job in Lewiston, Maine.
Mr. Paperback will probably always be one of my favorite places. Although it’s often depressing because of its lack of patrons and tendency to attract vagrants with bowel disorders, it employs some of the most intelligent, quirky, fun, and interesting people I have had the pleasure of knowing.
This picture is of the now empty fish bowl that once housed the first and second store mascots. I remember the day I brought the first fighting fish in from my other job at the time, (Pet Quarters), and Cheryl, our store manager, named him Chrysanthemum because Sushi would have been too obvious.
(I also remember fondly all the time I was allowed to spend surfing Craigslist for a junker and wasting time at the info desk making “creatures” out of limbs from broken x-mas ornaments.)
This fish bowl and its post-it headstone are a symbol of the store and my time there. I was very saddened to hear that the store is closing. I’m sad for my own personal reasons and because I think Lewiston really needs at least one book store. I hope you guys do band together and open a new one like you’re talking about. I hope the word gets out and people come there to buy books and learn. I also hope you do not have a public restroom.
(Beware) Lovely Little Leroy…
Dear Housemate Replacement,
My apologies for being such a terrible person by just sitting on the edge of my bed and giggling maniacally while you receive your tour of the apartment. Sure, the view is lovely for NYC but nothing compared to rural Mass or Vermont like SHE described. It reminds me more of my parents backyard in Maine, which is lovely, woodsey, and held up by tires wedged into the side of the hill to keep the rest of the yard from sliding into the sink hole created by Hurricane Bob. Sorry, that’s not the point. The point is that yes, this is a nice apartment in NYC and the area is rather nice on this side of Broadway. Yes, it is right near two subway stops. Yes, your future housemate seems nice and the kitties are adorable. Oh the kitties…. The Kitties will be the bane of your existence. They are lovable balls of fur but they are going to be “the reason” for all your future misery. Their owner is insane. Whatever you do, do not get sick and do not let the “healing” cat in your room. If he ends up at the vet, it’s going to be your fault.
Sincerely, The Former Inhabitant of this Room
P.S. I’m sorry. I really needed my deposit back.
TMI: #1
My eyes hurt.
My co-worker was telling me a “horror story” about her brother and his scratched retinas. She said that he wore his contacts for months without taking them out. He can’t wear them anymore because within hours he will get an eye infection because the trenches in his eyeballs are perfect breeding ground for bacteria. She told me this story with wide eyes, conviction, and fear. She must have bad dreams about such mundane things. She made me swear to heed her tale of warning.
I can’t remember the last time I changed my contacts. I sleep with them in too.
She should stop smoking.
“You think you know me. You don’t know me. You don’t love me. You love the idea but it’s not true. You’re about to find out that you don’t love me at all. In fact you are disgusted by me. But. You kinda like that.”
Interview with Craig Ferguson at the Palace of Fine Arts Theater (San Francisco) 9/25/09, Part 1 (of 9).
Via Fuck Yeah Craig Ferguson
