(Beware) Lovely Little Leroy…
Dear Housemate Replacement,
My apologies for being such a terrible person by just sitting on the edge of my bed and giggling maniacally while you receive your tour of the apartment. Sure, the view is lovely for NYC but nothing compared to rural Mass or Vermont like SHE described. It reminds me more of my parents backyard in Maine, which is lovely, woodsey, and held up by tires wedged into the side of the hill to keep the rest of the yard from sliding into the sink hole created by Hurricane Bob. Sorry, that’s not the point. The point is that yes, this is a nice apartment in NYC and the area is rather nice on this side of Broadway. Yes, it is right near two subway stops. Yes, your future housemate seems nice and the kitties are adorable. Oh the kitties…. The Kitties will be the bane of your existence. They are lovable balls of fur but they are going to be “the reason” for all your future misery. Their owner is insane. Whatever you do, do not get sick and do not let the “healing” cat in your room. If he ends up at the vet, it’s going to be your fault.
Sincerely, The Former Inhabitant of this Room
P.S. I’m sorry. I really needed my deposit back.
